Yesterday, a BC family buried their dead. Two newly-orphaned kids were brought to the church by members of the BC Ambulance Service, still in stretchers recovering from their injuries.
But tears and grief was not the only demonstrable emotion. Indeed, anger at a justice system so fundamentally flawed that a family is missing their son and daughter, two kids are missing their parents and siblings are missing their brother and sister.
On Labour Day, a Coquitlam family returning from a wedding in Calgary, was cut down in a head-on collision just east of Golden, BC. Lorene Calder, 43, and her husband Brad 47, were killed. Their kids, Natasha 15, and Justin, 12, were seriously injured in the crash.
Certainly, traffic fatalities on our highways always seem to punctuate long weekends, this tragedy was caused by a 19 year old junkie/thief in a stolen car. Dustin Carmichael, the driver of a stolen jeep who plowed into the Calder family was wanted at the time of the crash.
Carmichael was caught stealing a car in February 2004 when he was 18 years old. He was sentenced to 60 days and a year’s probation. I am not allowed to tell you about his juvenile record were I to know what it was, nor am I even allowed to confirm whether he had a juvenile record. But, considering no first time property crime offender ever goes to jail in the criminal paradise of British Columbia, I’m going to assume there was a fairly lengthy criminal history.
But, to no one’s great surprise, Carmichael committed an armed robbery while on probation. He got 14 months for that particular transgression. He then escaped from custody and got another four months tacked on.
He was also a junkie who stole to feed his habit. Crystal, crack it didn’t matter. In June he promised the parole board that he’d be a good boy and take counseling for his drug habit. They believed him and let him out ten months before his sentence was due to expire.
As was entirely predictable, Carmichael ditched his counseling before it was complete and went to ground. He was supposed to live with his grandmother on his release. Well, he neither showed there nor at his probation officer’s office. A warrant was issued for his arrest and with that, the parole system wiped its hands of an habitual thief, junkie and convicted armed robber.
Less than two weeks later, while driving a stolen Jeep, Carmichael killed the Calders, put the Calder kids in critical condition and killed himself and his girlfriend, also 19.
The tragedy here is gut-wrenching.
But tears and grief was not the only demonstrable emotion. Indeed, anger at a justice system so fundamentally flawed that a family is missing their son and daughter, two kids are missing their parents and siblings are missing their brother and sister.
On Labour Day, a Coquitlam family returning from a wedding in Calgary, was cut down in a head-on collision just east of Golden, BC. Lorene Calder, 43, and her husband Brad 47, were killed. Their kids, Natasha 15, and Justin, 12, were seriously injured in the crash.
Certainly, traffic fatalities on our highways always seem to punctuate long weekends, this tragedy was caused by a 19 year old junkie/thief in a stolen car. Dustin Carmichael, the driver of a stolen jeep who plowed into the Calder family was wanted at the time of the crash.
Carmichael was caught stealing a car in February 2004 when he was 18 years old. He was sentenced to 60 days and a year’s probation. I am not allowed to tell you about his juvenile record were I to know what it was, nor am I even allowed to confirm whether he had a juvenile record. But, considering no first time property crime offender ever goes to jail in the criminal paradise of British Columbia, I’m going to assume there was a fairly lengthy criminal history.
But, to no one’s great surprise, Carmichael committed an armed robbery while on probation. He got 14 months for that particular transgression. He then escaped from custody and got another four months tacked on.
He was also a junkie who stole to feed his habit. Crystal, crack it didn’t matter. In June he promised the parole board that he’d be a good boy and take counseling for his drug habit. They believed him and let him out ten months before his sentence was due to expire.
As was entirely predictable, Carmichael ditched his counseling before it was complete and went to ground. He was supposed to live with his grandmother on his release. Well, he neither showed there nor at his probation officer’s office. A warrant was issued for his arrest and with that, the parole system wiped its hands of an habitual thief, junkie and convicted armed robber.
Less than two weeks later, while driving a stolen Jeep, Carmichael killed the Calders, put the Calder kids in critical condition and killed himself and his girlfriend, also 19.
The tragedy here is gut-wrenching.
A spokesperson for the parole board tried to mitigate their responsibility in this by saying if they hadn’t let him out into counseling, he would have been released anyway at the two-thirds point in his sentence. True, but the Calders would still be alive and Carmichael would have eventually breached his conditions anyway.
But even that observation seems trite.
The problem is the way the system treats habitual criminals like Carmichael. True he was only 19, but his history clearly showed there was no hope for him. And minor sentences like 14 months for armed robbery let alone the original 60 days for stealing a car, continue to be as ineffective as the parole board’s hand wringing.
And probation on top of probation on top of probation for someone who has clearly demonstrated a total lack of concern for any restriction put upon him by the courts is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Brad Calder was a family man, a hard worker and a sports coach for kids in his community. He was a productive member of society. He and his wife are just the latest victims of a liberal experiment in social engineering that continues to prove its fallibility.
Will they never learn?
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51 comments:
Nope. The Liberals and social engineers will NEVER get it right. Neither will our current Supreme Court or our university profs. At least the criminal got an indirect version of the death penalty for his actions.
Is it possible for the parole board to be sued or held liable for criminal negligence?
No, I don't think such a lawsuit would be successful, although it would certainly be interesting. The parole boards work within the laws written and thusly are probably protected from litigation. It is the laws that desperately need to be changed.
Before you go and post all this crap about that young man , maybe you should get your stories straight, He was NOT a JUNKY, he was a young man that went a wrong route for a short time, He was not on the run , he was getting away to change his life so that he can start over, he WAS ONLY 19, he did not have a gun or knife at the robbery , he had a soup laddle, of course all this stuff is not mentioned , did u also know there was no alcohol or drugs at the time of the accident???? and did u mention that he has a very loving family that miss him like crazy????
TO THE ABOVE BLOGGER:
You are an idiot! That 19 year old druggie dirtbag was NOT "getting away to change his life so that he can start over" when he destroyed that innocent family. Dustin Carmichael is no doubt rotting in hell for what he did, and I for one, am glad for it; as are many of his past victims. I am sure that his "loving family" miss him like crazy - but maybe if that loving family did their job of raising him properly, he might have gone straight from the beginning. I will shed no tears for Dustin Carmichael or his "loving family that miss him like crazy". He got what he so rightly deserved. I will, however, shed a tear for his victims and those left behind. Dustin made his choice. His victims never had a choice.
Good ridance, Dustin Carmichael!
TO THE ABOVE BLOGGER
Excuse me! Where the hell do you get off being such a malicious asshole against a 19 year old boy?! I GUARANTEE his mission that day was not to have an accident that killed that family. Dustin had a childhood loss you couldn't even begin to understand... and has left behind four brothers who will never get over losing him...
I guess that I'm just trying to understand what pleasure you could possably get from attacking someones son, grandson, brother ,nephew.... I promise you that one day you too will have a child that makes a terrible mistake and needs forgiveness and understanding. I just hope that you will never have to feel the loss and regret Dustins family will live with for the rest of their lives.
TO THE ABOVE BLOGGER:
First: a 19 year old isn't a "boy". He is an adult and fully capable of making choices - positive or negative.
Second: it does not matter what Dustin's mission was that day. His poor choices in life destroyed a family (perhaps two). Dustin was already a career criminal and was so by CHOICE. True, addiction can drag any person into the depths of debauchery and I applaud those who can kick their habits. But Dustin was a great deal more than an addict. He destroyed lives of innocents. He hurt children and killed a decent, LAW ABIDING father. He crossed a line.
Third: I get NO pleasure whatsoever in attacking anyone's son or any other family member. But, the facts are the facts. Dustin created carnage and did so by his choice to commit crimes against his fellow human beings.
Finally: I will endeavor to set an example for my children and do my job as a parent so that, heaven forbid, none of them goes the way of Dustin Carmichael. That way, I will never have to feel the "loss and regret Dustin's family will have to live with for the rest of their lives."
Sorry. You haven't sold me on your whinning. Try being the victim of a violent crime, or losing a loved one to someone like Dustin Carmichael. Try watching people like that walk away from court time after time with a slap on the wrist after scarring someone for life. The hell that those INNOCENT people go through is indescribable. You should try it sometime.
And by the way- the next time you accuse anyone of being a "malicious asshole", for simply stating what is true and for standing up for the rights of crime victims, I suggest that you spend some time doing a ride-along with your local police detachment, or spend about 500 hours volunteering with victim services. When you see what the Dustin Carmichaels of the world do to society, maybe then you will overcome your ignorance and come to hold some sympathy for those REAL victims. The only "malicious asshole" in this whole equation is Dustin Carmichael. Stop making excuses.
To Above Blogger:
Obviously the crystal methamphetamine you've been taking has affected your sense of logic, reason and sensibility. More than likely, you are probably a criminal yourself - which would explain your lack of sympathy for the Calder family. You poor, sick, twisted individual. I pity you.
I'm sure his family misses him, but that is not the point. The point is, that Carmichael was a crack user, car thief and a robber. He used the soup ladel because he didn't have a fucking gun or a knife, thank god. The parole board should not be quoted either, by saying, "o'well he would have got out anyway." Another point to remember by the loving and caring family, is that there was an arrest warrent issued for Carmichael on the 26th of August, so if the family is so caring why did my brother and his wife have to be murdered in order to find him. I also wonder about the other point that seems to support Carmichael as a person that was changing his life around. You don't do that in a stolen vehicle with stolen plates. On a more positive note, my niece and nephew are doing much better, but you never seem to mention them in all your defence of the person that took their parents.
Brian Calder
To all thoes who have written on this site. I can fortunatly say I am Dustin Carmichaels best friend. I realize that he has done wrong in his life, as well I do realize that there are more then just his family suffering. But what people are not getting is the truth about him. The press can write what they please and people can speak there mind, but on the other hand take a minute to indulge the words of the people who knew him. I have been friends with him for many years. Throught thoes years he has been the best most kind person I have ever incountered, he did not judge people on there looks or their attitude,however he did care about how other people felt, he loved his family more then anything in the world and they loved him back. He was not always a user and for people to assume it was crack are wrong maybe it was maybe it wasnt but that is not the issue, he was not intoxicated at the time of the accident which is what people should realize. I am not trying to say what he did is right but to attack him and his family is wrong. What if this accident never occured and one of the cadler kids got older and one night god forbid ended up at a party and had something slipped into their drink or they were drinking themselves and like everyother teen on the face of the planet made a stupid mistake and got in their care and drove home and hit someone. Now are they going to be remembered as good kids no the press is going to pick apart everything they can to make them out to be horrible, how would their family feel while they are trying to get over the loss of a child and the press and the public are hacking apart their child without knowing everyside of them. Dont get me wrong I do feel bad for the other family and I know these times are tuff I have dealt with alot of tragic events and deaths but we dont remeber what is bad about a person you always remeber the good. Your right Dustin may not have been inoccent but none of us were there.. and to say that you hope he is rotting in hell well what kind of an example are you setting for everyone else out there. Do you and everyone else not realize that he does have younger sibblings that knew dustin as there older loving brother when he was around. Now what if they are to read this how are they suppose to feel? Everyone is concerend about there own well being and their own feelings well why not step back and take a look around try being in someone elses shoes and seeing what it is like. I feel sorry for the cadler family, the podjans and Dustins family all equally there were losses but we need to accept and move on.. remeber your loved ones as who they were and not how they passed, remeber that God does watch us and he does have room for everyone, but he also hears us and what we say about other people and maybe I belive differently then others but I think he accepts Dustins mistakes and when our time comes he will accept our mistakes and the harsh words we have spread.
For all who read this I hope I have made sense and I hope you do take my words into concideration. I hope we all can accept this event someday and stop pointing fingers at one another we all have a loss and remember that the cadler children are not the only ones missing out on parents,what about dustins daughter who has to live with the truth of her dad, and his parents, and siblings and even me as a close friend who thought the world of Dustin. We all have our oppinions but when it comes to loss like this maybe we should keep some of our words to ourselves.
To all thoes we have lost please let them now rest in peace
Lisa.Hayden
I am Lisa's mom, and was like a second mother to Dustin. To hear what Blogger has to say is disturbing to me. Dustin had a kind soul. One that you don't see everyday. Dustin's downside was that he was a follower, never a leader. He figured that if he followed he would get noticed what he didn't realize most of the time is that he followed the wrong people. I will say though, if people were more accepting and willing to listen when someone cries out for help instead of tagging them as some sort of menace to society we would have less incidents like this. I wonder though how you can say that he murdered the family. Legally you could be charged under the criminal act to accuse someone of a crime of murder. He did not plan to find the Calder family with the intent to kill them. This was a freak "accident", it was not intentional, he did not set out to deliberately find this family and kill them and where did you get the information that it was the stolen vehicle that caused the accident to begin with. We will never know the true facts of what happened that day. Only those involved truly know and they are not here to tell us. So before you blame a young man who had his own personal hardships maybe take a minute and reflect on your own life and look back at one thing that could have been different in your life and you may think twice about how you feel. Dustin would have never tried to deliberatley destroy a family, he always had the utmost respect for our home and our rules and never once did we have to question his motives. We love dustin and he will be forever in our hearts.
Proof positive that there are two sides to every story. Go in peace in this unfortunate affair.
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
How can you even put down a person when you don't even know him?! I think this blog is sickening and you should go and get a life. He was clean, he was trying. It was just that an ACCIDENT!
to Mr.Brian calder,
How dare you say that about Dustins family.How do you know what kind of people they are?
They may be Dustins family but you have to remember that Dustin did and does have a mother who loves him so much that if she could change things I am sure that she would. Sure Dustin might have stolen the car but he did not intend to go out and kill anybody as you say i am sure of that!
I am also sure that if there was a warrant out for his arrest don't you think that one of the family would have done something about that! I DO!!! So remeber no matter what people are like they still have families and feelings and they are hurting just as bad as your family is.So do you think that you could find a little compassion for his grieving family?
let them all rest in peace for crying outloud!!!!!
To Lisa and Sheila,
There's no doubt that you knew Dustin in a very different way than his victims. There is also no doubt that you had a certain attachment to him. You both describe him as a "kind soul", a "the best most kind person I've ever encountered"; you both go on to say words to the effect that we should all try to understand Dustin and forgive him.
Certainly, no one can fault another for trying to accept someone, or to try to remember a person like Dustin in a more acceptable light; especially if you had any type of close relationship to him, such as being a psuedo-surrogate mom. This type of thought process is probably the only way that you can deal with what Dustin did and get some measure of inner peace. If this is so, which I think it is, then you should probably keep remembering Dustin the way that you saw him, as opposed to what the current reality of the situation is.
I've been reading many of the comments on this site and I've noticed a lot of anger, as well as a great deal of niavete on the part of some of the bloggers. If I may shed some light on this subject for a moment.
1)If someone says that we should stop judging Dustin Carmichael and we should all try to understand him and forgive, regardless of the situation HE created, understand that NO ONE HAS ANY MORAL RIGHT OR OBLIGTATION TO FORGIVE ANYONE ELSE FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. This right is reserved strictly for the victim(s) themselves. If a victim wants to forgive the perpetrator, this is their perrogative, and a very noble one. But, the rest of us DO NOT have this perrogative. I do not have the moral right to forgive Dustin, nor does anyone else. This belongs to the victim alone.
2)It may be that Dustin probably did not wake up that day and say to himself "Hmmmm..I think I'll go out and wipe out a family today and kill myself and my girlfriend in the process". But, he did do certain things that were highly illegal and behaved in such a dangerous manner that he OUGHT to have known the potential outcome. Yes, we all make stupid mistakes in life. But, I can guarantee you that Dustin did commit a crime before the accident and was trying to escape from being held responsible. You see, there are stupid, honest mistakes, and then there are grievous mistakes that cannot be corrected. Again, none of us have any moral right to forgive Dustin, except his victims (if they choose to do so).
Lisa and Shiela - and any other blogger that has spoken immature words on this site - you should start to try and understand what the Calder family has gone through. HOW DARE YOU or anyone else try to criticise or shame Brian Calder or anyone else on this subject! The Calder family were innocent victims of wrongdoing. The Calders NEVER deserved this! They were innocent. Dustin, unfortunately, was not. Sad as it is, Dustin's baby girl will never know her father. But, she will have no memory of him. The Calder kids will be traumatized for life as a result of what Dustin did to their mom and dad. Yes, Dustin's family is hurting. That pain should be recognized. But, Dustin caused that. No one else.
In all of these tragedies, it is the INNOCENT victim that always seems to be forgotten. If you bloggers who are trying to defend Dustin Carmichael would actually find it in your hearts (and minds) to try and have some human feeling for the Calder family - to try to understand what THEY are going through, as opposed to trying to shame the rest of us while lauding Dustin's laurels - maybe then we will be on our way to REAL healing.
Finally, to Mr. Calder. I am truly sorry for your loss and your family is in my prayers. Please do not let these naive people try and lay some reverse guilt trip on you. You have every right to own the moral high ground on this issue. I'm glad to hear that the children are doing better. God bless.
VSU
I don't think anybody is trying to make the Calders shame for Dustin but please let them all rest in peace!!!
Yes I am glad also to here that the kids are doing good, I pray for them everyday. My heart goes out to them and I would hate to have to live with that feeling everyday but as you said I am sure that Dustin did not go and look for a family to kill! You see I think Dustin had some problems and made some poor choices but deep down Dustin was a good boy I know that for a fact.I hope that the Calder family can heal the best that they can. I hope that Dustin's family can heel the best that they can as well.Please give the kids a hug everyday and let them know that some people are praying for them to get better as best as they can.
To VSU
I have read over all of these letters and comments and I do not think that Lisa or Sheila were trying to guilt anyone... I belive that they do care about the other family that was hurt in this unfortunate event I also belive that they just wanted people to realize he wasn't a monster or anything like that.. that he was a person too... I think what you said was in a way guilting and not right.. for thoes words that some people have wrote are not imature. I belive that everyone should just let these loved ones rest along with their families.. life will go on unfortunatly with a peice missing but it does go on. Please to all just stop the comments.. and let our hearts go out to both families and their lost loves.
My name is Lainie Kukler and I am the mother of Dustin's 17 month old daughter. I also had a 3 1/2 relationship with him. Do you seriously think that
his intentions were to "plow" into an oncoming family of 4? I know and his family and friends know that sure wasnt the case. So stop going off about how he should rot in hell and that you're happy that he is gone now.
Yes I have clearly taken into my thoughts and put myself in the Calders shoes. But is that seriously going to bring them ALL back? Stop feed to the minds of the calder family saying that; "do not let these naive people try and lay some reverse guilt trip on you"
We are not trying to do that at all. My daughter will never know her father and the side that his family and friends know. The side that you wont let everyone hear. The side that if you were out in the cold he would give you the shirt off his back and worry about you being warm instead of himself. The side that we all see at holidays and birthdays and family gatherings. The side that we all will never see again. The side that OUR daughter will never get to experience.
So do you seriously think that all this hatred towards Dustin is going to get you anywhere in life? Worry about yourself and what god has left us with. He had a plan. And obviously we saw his plan.
Everything works out in time. But going off about how his actions were wrong isnt going to help my situation, the carmichaels situations or his friends stiuations.
Please just stop with all the hatred.
hi i am kyleigh and I am writeing to you to say that you are right and worng about DustinCarmichael in some ways. he was a vary nice man to all of his family and he never did this stuff in his front of his family. I think that the stuff you have said about him is ture but you should not say it so the world can read it. can you fell how the family fells about this that you saying this to the world. it makes the family fell really bad that they lost a family meber and they also have to live with this for the rest the lives they lives.
From kyleigh wingert
In what way did Dustin murder the Calders? The meaning of murder is killing someone with intent and thought. He did not demonstrate such an act. He did not murder anyone. Vent all you want. The fact is that it was an accident.
and also all this stuff about him being a junky ,omg , you guys really need to get your facts straight, all of our hearts go out to the Calder family of course,and if we can turn back time , we sure the hell would ,but we cant can we, you know what really gets to me , the fact that if the Calders happen to have went over the line and hit Dustins vehicle would you all pulling all this shit up about Dustin then???Maybe you would......
U would probably say , OH he was a JUNKY he deserved it ,RIGHT ??? Omg you all , this was a very tragic ACCIDENT, let it be ,
(If you had met Dustin , you would have loved his as much as we all DOOO)
This is Dustins grandma, first off I want to say I am very sorry for what has happened to all of us the Calder family my heart bleeds for the two children I wish I could be there for them and give then a BIG Hug I know it wouldn't help them right now but I want to let them know that we all are hurting very much, we have all lost, but to sit at a computer and run someone down to the lowest is not going to bring anyone of them back to us we still don't know the true facts about the accident as far as I know anyway my heart has broken into many pieces as yours i'm sure but please stop talking about my GRANDSON the way you have because he wasn't a monster and if you knew him before all this happened you may think different about him so Please let them all rest in Peace hoping that one day we all meet together and we will in heaven yes Dustin is there to with my family and yours.with love to all of you a very broken hearted grandma
Here, here. Let's have some sympathy for the families on both sides regardless of the actions, intended or otherwise, of their loved ones. Nobody woke up that morning and throught, "Geez, this is a nice day to to fundamentally destroy two families".
This is a painful time for all of them and to victimize them doesn't make the situation or you any better.
Shame on you!
Let the dead rest in peace and those living start their healing process.
i,am Dustin Carmichael,s aunt and first would like to express my deepest and sincerist feelins and sympathy to all of the Calder family to all of Nikkis family And pray with all of my heart that the children involved are doing well and will have a quick trecovery Now I would like to yell you all about my nephew Dusty he was a very loving caring kind and generous person and if you knew him like we do I,am sure you would have a little more compassion he was not a malicious person quite the opposite,Yes Dustin did get on the wrong track for awhile but he was trying to better his life you can believe that or not All this horrible stuff that is written about him is done in hurt and anger and we do understand this But please stop this and let all involved rest As long as you carry this hatred you and yours will never heal and neither will we and Im sure you don,t want that No one and I repeat No one knows the trith about that terrible tragic accideent and until we do and we will be notified how can we blame one certain oerson?And please don,t put down Dustin,s up bringing, he was brought up in a very loving and caring family who meet problems head on abd dealt with them as much as they possibly could so please I beg of you please stop this and let everyone rest in peace abd all involved start healing thank you and god bless And we do know ustin is with God we are believers once again thanjk you and may peace be with you ..,please excuse the mistakes in the typing thank you
The points here are, or should be for the surviving.
The children of Nikki,
Dustins daughter, the Calders children.
Focus on them and not yourselves for once.
Remembering our lost loved ones
each and everyday,
More and more now that
christmas is on its way.
Remembering our lost loved ones
as though they are right here,
Holding them to our hearts,
knowing they are so near.
Remembering our lost loved ones
as months turns into years.
We will have our lonely days,
and shed so many tears.
Lets all also remember the loved ones
that are here now and everyday.
And love each and every one of them,
In our own special way.
Remembering our lost loved ones
each and everyday,
More and more now that
christmas is on its way.
Remembering our lost loved ones
as though they are right here,
Holding them to our hearts,
knowing they are so near.
Remembering our lost loved ones
as months turns into years.
We will have our lonely days,
and shed so many tears.
Lets all also remember the loved ones
that are here now and everyday.
And love each and every one of them,
In our own special way.
...for those of you out there that know (sic) knew that petty shit, Dustin, this isn't the first time he was involved in criminal actions that ended on that stretch of highway near Golden.
Those refering to him as a junkie may be exaggerating slightly, I'd sooner dub him an immature, irrational little boy who OBVIOUSLY hadn't learned his lesson the last time he was arrested those few years ago outside of Golden, nor learning his lessons on how destructive and damaging meth can be.
At least the last time the little shit was on the run and made it to Golden he didn't kill anybody. Too bad he didn't take the opportunity the courts so generously gave him back in 2000 and get his life on track and get off the fucking drugs then.
Dustin, you ignorant little shit, had you realized the chance you were given then, YOU COULD'VE SAVED 4 LIVES INCLUDING YOUR OWN.
One of the others involved in the actions leading to his juvenile arrest on that same fateful stretch of highway took advantage of a shitty, life changing situation and actually got his life on track, got off the drugs and has now become starting a family of his own. Of course, he took the wrap while the other 3 juvies, Dustin then included, walked off scott-free due to their age and false promises to be better little boys. What a load of shit that was.
Maybe Dustin would've thought twice and had a better apprecation of life and family if he'd had 3 years of his life taken away too for his participation in an unfortunate, violent act of ignorance. Instead, he walked away with a slap on the wrist and proceeded to continue fucking up his life and ultimately taking the lives of three innocent others.
Lainie, my sorrow goes out to your daughter who will grow up not knowing her father, yet at the same time, it can be said to be a blessing for her to not have the shame of a reckless, heartless father. How would you feel Lainie, had Dustin chose to take your child with him that day? If he decided to go on the run with some whore and your infant child in the car and then crashed the same way he did. It could've been 5, not just 4. Raise your child the best you can and find a father to raise that child with you and love it like his own.
To the Calder family, my heart goes out out to the most. You'd all still be here had that foolish boy gotten his life on track when he had the chance.
The sad thing is maybe Dustin wasn't going to ever get his life back on the right page an this was a blessing in diguise, especially to that of his infant child. It's not fair to grow up knowing you lost your father before you even got to know him, but the pain and grief of being raised but a reckless, irresponsible little boy who had no appriciation for life in the first place.
I see that others have refered to Dustin as a boy, and I'll whole-heartedly agree; in my eyes he was still that scared little boy trying to play with the big boys and getting himself in too deep and trying to run away from it all.
You can't blame it all on the courts for letting it happen. There are times when they give a youth the benefit of the doubt to get their life going in the right direction and that tiny precentage of them make it and truly do become positive and productive members of society. For those that knew of Dustins last 'escapade' that landed him near Golden when he was again on the run (details will be left out, but those who know about it know precisely what I'm refering to). The so-called 'instigator' and 'ring leader' of the mislead youth involved in that tragedy, has not only maintained his abstenence from drugs for over 4 years, spent countless hours volunteering within his community and in others in various drug awareness campaigns and harm reduction programs, made ammends amoungst his friends and family for his years of ignorance and grief he caused as a teen as well as has started a family of his own. He however did his time and was given a 'now or never' chance to put his life right, which was handed down to him from the Supreme Court of Canada. Though the statistics aren't very high for drug crazed youths to actually succeed in turning their lives around, the few that make it happen keep it worth while for the courst to have their leiniency with first time offenders. It's a shame though, when petty dead beats like Dustin seem to continously get slapped on the wrist while they maintain their downward spiral of crime and neglagence and ultimately end up in tragedy like this one where the lives of others were so sadly lost.
So c'mon folks it's not just the fault of the courts', it's the fault of the guilty party's self, their upbringing, their lack for sense of family and community and overall lack of appreciation for those same courts' that gave him that chance to redeem himself over and over.
It's truly sad that the statistics for failure in sobriety amoung drug abusing youths is dreadfully higher than that of those same drug abusing youth that given the same opportunity to get help and get better and actually make it in getting their lives going where they need to be in order to be a respected member of society.
The correctional and rehabilitation systems can work, and in low percentages they do. They just need to work together along with the community and the offender or abuser to introduce them into society where they can contribute equal to the next working class citizen.
The system can work, rehab can work and chances for redemption and reconcilliation can work; you just have to want it. As cliche as the old 12 step saying goes- ...it works if you work it!
TO THE HEARTLESS BLOOGER ABOVE::::
You ASSHOLE!!!!
What the hell do you get out of bringing this into the picure ??
Does it make you sleep better at night now???
DO you think that saying what you did has made things better for ANYONE??
You have added more , grief, more pain , more anger for everyone involved. Are you walking around feeling taller now ??? Very poud of yourself ??
As for the person ( or is it you?) that has changed his life around, that is great to hear, but what did it take to change that ?? Finally got busted for something he had been doing for years and at the time took juvies with him. If he hadnt got caught that time , I'm sure his path wouldnt have been all that different. You know it makes me sick when people have to keep diggin diggin diggin,,, Is this going to make anyone sleep better at night ?,(besides yourself)I am sure you have made Lainies life better with your great advice. Some people take time to grow up , I sure hope your time is here soon.
You all need to start worrying about yourselves and get on with the healing process. Trashing a dead mans name is never a good thing. No matter what the circumstances are. So go home. Write in a journal or whatever, read it to yourself and remind yourself of how good things are for you. Thank god that you're alive to wake up every morning and say hello to your loved ones. Cause clearly Dustin can't express that love to our daughter. Vice versa. So again, worry about yourselves and not everyone else. And for those who get joy out of running dustins name through the dirt. I serious hope one day I get the chance to run your name through it to. But no you wont post your name. Coward!
And I leave this as a fuck you and have a nice day!
Lainie Kukler!?!
Quote "Lainie, my sorrow goes out to your daughter who will grow up not knowing her father, yet at the same time, it can be said to be a blessing for her to not have the shame of a reckless, heartless father. How would you feel Lainie, had Dustin chose to take your child with him that day? If he decided to go on the run with some whore and your infant child in the car and then crashed the same way he did. It could've been 5, not just 4. Raise your child the best you can and find a father to raise that child with you and love it like his own." Quote
And who are you to give advice to me when clearly you have no knowledge of who Dustin was.
Heartless is not something I would label Dustin under. He loved his daughter and myself, Knowing that is all we need.
As for asking how would I feel if Dustin took our daughter and made it 5. Lets get something clear. This was not intentional so how would he have MADE it 5 when he didnt mean to even make it 4.
He was on his way to Calgary and without me, She would not be going.
Nikki was not some "whore" Dustin went with. She was a mother and a human being. It's quite unfortunate for the children, the Calders and the family. But hating those who knew and loved dustin doesnt help the situation. Might make you sleep better at night but it doesnt help the grieving process as well. So coming on the internet trashing the name of a loved one isnt the way to be. Its cowardly and uncalled for.
Lainie
Glad to see all the hatred and bickering is all over and done with
I am a 13 year old girl who was in Justin Calder's class at Maple Creek Middle school in Coquitlam in the year of 2004/05. This recent summer, I read the newspaper in a restaurant and I literally burst out into tears when I read about the car accident wich involved Justin, who I knew. Justin, if you are reading this, I'm sorry for what happened, and please email me at:babi_lorisa@hotmail.com!
And to Dustin's alis, It WAS Dustin's fault!! He took away 2 lives including his own,stole a car, PLUS turned two innocent, happy kids into upset,miserable, and sad orphans!! Good luck JUSTIN and Natasha!!
I just want to say thank you to Natasha for emailing me and to say the truth; i've been trying to reach you and Justin for quite some time now! I'm glad you are feeling better!
Please everyone just leave him alone everyone is in a beautiful place now. They are all happy, I'm sure the families are suffering on birthdays and holidays but just remember the dead are in a peaceful place just let them go.
I happen to be Very Very close to the family that was basicly destroyed. A 13 year old boy and a 15 year old girl. Left with no parents. This makes me sick that something like that happend that could have been very much prevented. He ruined 4 lives. So much pain he caused resulting in the sorrow of many many friends and family. I for one know how hard it is for those 2 and i find that he deserved what he got.
I happend to be a best friend of onen of the two survived calder children. This that could have been provented cause 2 deaths and left two innocent children with out parents. Imagine being thirteen and 15 and haveing your life change so instantly and durasticly for the worsse. I personaly burst out crying the first day of school a long with many others. It didnt just take he didnt just take there lives they changed so many others. How can you read these comments and not be so angry i read them all and was so angry i literly harmed my self by punching out a door. it takes alot of anger and pain to be in that horribly scary state of emotion. I am only 12. That has changed me and my family and so many others. I feel no sympothy for anyone who can take away that much from anyone. He ruined alot of peoples lives. And for that im truley angry. That all from my post above thats all i can say with out bursting into tears again. I hope this changes somebodys decisions to stay clean and save lives.
hello, i have just recently found this site.. and i have now read every single last one of these entrys very closly.. i have know the calder family for 4 years now.. and i find it absolutly distgusting that you can sit here and say anything nice about the man and KILLED..(regard less of wheather he wanted to, or ment to is not relivent thats what he did KILLED!)the parents of two of the most amazing children on the face of the earth!.. that i love to death, ms.and mr. calder where two of the most caring ppl you could ever meet on the face of the planet, they ment the world to natasha and justin and natasha and justin made the world to them (just a note to all the bloggers that used the calder children they have names, make it atleast sound like you acutally care!).. and the day that i found out what dustin did to this family i couldnt stop thinking about how carless and preventible it could have been, he should have been locked up..BEHIND BARS!.. thats where he belongs.. i say so, as does the calders and all the friends of the clader's and so does the goverment, however the goverment was absoultly stupid in thinking that anyone like that thing(i cant even bring my self to reconize him as a human after what he has done) could change, he had so many chances it sounds like.. and not only that he, has or had a daughter. that wasnt enough to make him change?... thats not a very good fathur sounds like to me!, the world needs less ppl like dustin and MILLIONS! more like the calders, sure the carmicheal's ppl must be in pain for there son and what ever else he was to you.. well guess what.. every time that you feel sorry that he is gone think about two children sitting at home recovering from what your son has done to them not only physicaly but emotonaly then try to sleep at night.. cause i know that they have to sleep with out saying good night to there parents EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOREVER!.. AND GUESS WHAT WHEN YOU FEEL SORRY FOR THEM AFTER READING THIS.. JUST THINK YOUR SON DID THIS!.. IT WAS HIM... and to the ppl that kept saying. no one knows what happend on one knows.. guess what there were serviers that day (had you failed to notice)! any one that says that dustin is a good person.. is not thinking clearly, because no good person would steal a car nor do drugs nor drink and drive, and wow i could go on, but why you know what hes done, i apoled his grandmother, at least she had tryed to take him in after he so called tryed to "get clean".. and yhea by the way, if he was trying so bloody hard, as you say then y did he leave the center before he was done? i would love to know that one.. (that is if there is good reason?)he wanted so hard to get clean i keep hearing.. i find all of that BS.. if he really wanted to get and stay clean he would have stayed and done it.. that loser made stupid ass deciction's throu his whole life apperinltly and one finally killed him thank god! cause at least he isnt here to make anymore , take or totaly rip apart any more people's lives.. HOWEVER.. he took two of the most wonderful people alnog with him.. witch is totaly unforgivible..no matter what!, to me thats totally and 100% unforgivible. you tell me to forgive him?.. the day that happends is when pigs can fly over a pink sky's and the world has been over taken by wild monkeys, its impossible, why dont you try to forgive your self for forgiving him! he KILLED! this should have never happend not only should he have been in jail to start off for, but he could NOT stolen a car (yet a nother mastake wow the list didnt stop till the day he died hu?)..( clean hmmmm.. i wonder?)
and for my last note here to the person that said 'what if one of the calder children went to a party" or what ever it was..
let me just tell you somthing:
those kids would NEVER! EVER! do somthing like that.. casue unlike your teenage thoughts of noramitly the calders had values natasha calder has NEVER IN HER LIFE sworn! ever not one bad word not so much as an "ass"!.. and one day i asked her why.. this is her answer!.. "because my parents always taught me that swaering is for people who cant think of anything more inteligent to say, so i dont swear, and my parents didnt swear ither." you tell me how you can allow your son grandsone nefew or any one else to you.. take away the lives of two of the most great amzing parents on earth and fogive him for it?.. tell me how cause i find it imposible!.... to mr. and ms. calder may you rest in peace for the ever and ever!.. you are so very missed!!!!..
and to justin and natasha, i love you both to death and i am and always will be here for you no matter what! you two have taught me what it means to be strong and you two are my heros for it!...
~love a caring and loving firend of the calder family~
to the comment of the date:26 September, 2005 13:35
ook what the hell, who robs a place with a soup laddle!
answer me that, some kid who wasnt on drugs or alcohol??
common, where is your sense MAN!!!!!
I did not have the pleasure of knowing the Calder or the Carmichael family but I am sure that both families are grief stricken beyond belief. This site I find is despicable because it shows a biased view towards the situation. No one person is in the correct place to judge what went on during that horrid day. God is the only person that can do that.
To seek vengeance on poor Dustin makes you no better than a murderer yourself. My words may seem harsh but it is not our place to judge. The family of Dustin have to wake up every morning for the rest of their lives and not have the extreme pleasure of their child in their life....they lost someone they love! Justin and Natasha must wake up every morning to no mom or dad, they lost two people...but, they lost someone they love.
As said before let the dead rest in peace. Sure Dustin had a bad history but it is called redemption. Anyone can gather that Dustin was trying to reform his life in prison why else would he take courses? Questions like "why would he steal a car" "was he on drugs or alcohol" "why did Dustin leave his rehab early" arise in every one's head but, I am sorry to say that no one will ever know those answers. For all of you seeking vengeance it will come and it will be just. For all of you seeking peace it has come and it was just. The lord Jesus Christ never makes mistakes and everyone will get what they deserve.
To judge Dustin makes us no better. Everyone must try to move forward. For the children if they ever read this, the lord is close to you when you are broken hearted and he will meet all of your needs. Although your earth father has come to pass your heavenly father will be with you for eternity.
To both families I love you both and hope that you can both reconcile. I know that it is a lot to ask but if we all keep dwelling on the past no one can ever move forward.
From,
A representative of Christ
Thank you to that last blog , I can not believe people that sit here and can say all the things they say , it happened, unfortunately , and not a day goes by that BOTh families are reminded of what happened on that sad sad day. BUt to sit and say things about Dustin is sure not going t make anything any better. You know there are alot of people that go that wrong path in life , some get out of sooner then others , but I for a fact know that Dustins family (including me) are a very loving family that feel for the other families very much, Our heart aches for Dustin each and every day as well as aches for what happened on that day. Please stop these nasty words, its not going to bring anyone back.
To the last blogger,
"You know there are alot of people that go that wrong path in life , some get out of sooner then others "
can you please explain to me how the calders should have to give there lives.. and give there parents, because dustin didnt get out soon enough? personaly that was a stupid thing to say.. the calders did NOTHING, REAPEAT NOTHING! where as it was DUSTIN who caused this, yes it was sad, and no apperintly he didnt mean to do what he did, how ever he DID.
how come alot of your family cant get that?... they say that he was not at falt.. HE WAS!.. it was all his falt. he did NOT need to steal that car.. he did not need to leave the center early, but he did and that was the choices he made and now me and my best friends (natasha, and justin) and every one else that knew the calders, have to live with the choices that asshole made!.. explain to me how u can defend that?
To the above blogger"
We are not defending that at all , read what we have to say , not just what you THINK we are saying.
Do you not think that we know this , that we dont sit and say IF ONLY IF ONLY. But what we are getting at is, that sitting here and saying all the stuff about Dustin and HIS FAMILY is not going to change anything that happened on that VERY VERY sad day.
NO ONE said anything about the Calders had to give their lives at all, stop turning words around, WE are all suffering from that day.Yes of course the GUILT is there. Do you not think we feel that as well???? But unfortunatly there is NOTHING we can do about it, is there ?????
And yes WE all have to live with it as well. But no matter what you all have to say , he is still a son , a grandson,a nephew a cousin a father, a friend to many people that each and everyday think and miss him terribly.
I have posted on this site before. I was Dustins best friend. My name is Lisa-Marie. Hayden. I have not been to this site in quite some time. as I was searching I came about it once more. I read over all the blogs again. It hurt to see alot of them and made me to be honest a little angry. I feel soo much for the Cadler children, I do not know what it is like to not have a mother and father. I also feel for Dustin and Nikki's family.However Yes I was the one that said that about "What if one of the Cadler children went to a party" I then read that they would never do that and it was because of my neive teenage mind I would think this. Well this is not true. I have known sweet innocent people that would never even touch a ciggarete, then two years later I have bumped into them living on the street. Yes I can openly admit I have tried some drugs, I have tried smoking, I have even drank when I was under age, and yes I even dropped out of school for half a year however I do not have a criminal record I graduated on time and I live on my own and have a perfectly nice loving family. So for you to say that it was dustins family's fault it is wrong. My parents never knew. And yes I am sure that Dustins mom knew some things but not to the extent that people thought she did. I know this family personaly and for you to attack them is the worse thing there is. The friends of the cadler family says they were the nicest people out there and yes that may be true but if you were to meet dustins family you would understand why I defend them they are the most accepting and loving family I have ever met. As for the Cadler kids I hope they are doing well. As well as Nikki's children. And the same with Lanie and her beautiful baby. I just really wish everyone would stop with the nonsence. It has been over a year. My best friend is dead, 2 loving parents are dead, and a beautiful young girl are dead we need to stop pointing fingers and get over are hatred and let it go. If any one needs to contact me in a mature mannor instead of posting rude things online you can do so at my e mail address loventouch69@hotmail.com Thank you and I hope the family's can try to have a good new year. always remeber the good times you had with these loving people.
Lisa-Marie.
My name is Lisa-Marie Hayden and I have posted on this site before. I was Dustins best friend. I have not come accross this site in a long while and since then have read over the blogs people have left. They are very heart wrenching. I feel so bad for the Cadler children and hope they are doing well. I do not know what it is like not to have a mother or a father. I can hounestly say I was well looked after even when there was a step dad in my life. I had read over a blog that a friend from the cadler family had left that was kind of upsetting. Yes I was the one that stated one of the Cadlers "could" end up doing something horrible like other Teenagers. The Family friend posted that I only said that because of my imature teenage mind. I have grown up alot since I had done alot of stupid things like yes I have tried to smoke, and tried drugs, drank and even have dropped out of school. However I graduated on time,have a great job, own my own car and live on my own. So just because people make stupid mistakes does not mean that they are imature. Everyone will make one stupid mistake in there life. I have known people that got straight a's though highschool and even started collage, never smoked or touched a drop of alchol and two years later I have heard they are living on the streets. Now I am not saying that will ever happen to the Cadler children but we can not predict the future. I hope that they do stay safe. Another thing was they attacked dustins family alot in the blogs, and said he is the reason why he is. There are things that people do not know about Dustin and his past that may have made him the way that he is but do not blame the family. My family did not know what I was doing and I have a very loving and supporting mother. It is not always the parents fault. I have seen comments on here that state that the Cadlers where the nicest most loving family you could ever meet and that may be so but if you had met dustins family you would know why I am deffending them. They are the most understanding, loving and tight nit family I have ever met. Dustins mother and grandmother would accept me or any of you at any time if there was a problem. So maybe we should think about what we say. It had been over a year and I hope everyone can get on with there lives. I know it is hard with the Holidays but like I said remeber your friends and family for what and who they are. I hope the Cadler children are doing good, my sympathy goes out to you aswell as Nikki's Children, and of course Dustins Family, Lanie and her beautiful Daughter. Please let these poor people rest in pease. And stop attacking them. IF anyone would like to respond I would appreciate if you could do so by e mail instead of being rude and posting it online. My e mail address is loventouch69@hotmail.com
I am only writing on this page for one reason and that reason only. My daughter. I share one great sadness in life with her, the lose of her father. She is now three and a half and one of the most brilliant children ever concieve by two people. Dustin is the father she will never know. The hatred after almost two years really has to stop. For those who have no relation or connection to this matter should take some advice and keep their comments to themeselves if the comment does not benefit in a positive way towards Dustin or the Calders. For those who write under hear as anonymous...fucking cowardly if you ask me. You make a comment but you have no desire to unmask yourselves. Hmm...
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It has been years and I am the mother of Dustin's daughter. She does not need to wake up one morning knowing that someone hated her father! Just like Nikki wouldnt want her children that she was a fucking JUNKIE!! come to my house and not be a coward and tell mydaughter and myself that Dustin went out of his way to kill a mother of twins and himself on purpose... i dare u to come to my place... canadiangirl423@hotmail.com....the same addy as when i was 14...now i am 24...longtime to think about this situation...she is now six!! she will never know her biological father and I feel for her when she understands that fully in her state of mind...
To Nikki's "brother"; I would like to know who you are because I am Nikki's aunt - she didn't have a brother!
I am Nikkis mom,
she had 2 brothers so antiewho ever you are get it right
I find it sad that almost 9 years after this tragedy that nothing has really changed. Crimes are committed and there is very little punishment or retribution. People look the other way because it is "not their concern". If even one quarter of the people who made comments on this blog pressured their MPs and MLAs to demand changes to the justice system, there really could be some justice for victims of crime. I hope Justin and Natasha are doing o.k., as well as all of the extended Calder family. They are really the only victims in this crime. Sorry to the Carmichael family, but it is true.
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